This question has been perplexing young men for decades. The fact is that it is so damned hard to find a girl, that is the reason that most people stay married. They live on the assumption that the devil you know is better than the one you haven't met yet. Let's talk practically. Singles dances and single mingles usually contain the dredges of society. It is like the elephants burial ground. Then we have the lonely hearts sections of newspapers and the Internet. It is the same crowd, only these can afford to type or place an ad. It is a hard, magical thing, to find someone who could be your potential soul mate, and by the time you are in your twenties, it panics you. To properly proceed in finding a good mate, you have to inventory your assets and what you have to offer. Are you reasonably good looking, are you healthy, are you bright, are you wealthy? Don't believe the old addage that "beauty is only skin deep." If you are an "ugger", you can overcome it, I have proved that! But it is a lot easier if you are pretty. Guys- rather than sitting home, waiting for the next issue of Penthouse to be delivered to you, you have to be brave! When you see your potential soul mate, be it in a subway, in the middle of the street or at the bank. Go home and consider that she is probably in the same rut as you. She is probably as lonely and desperate as you are, and tired of creeps hitting on her. So you might want to send her flowers with a note describing your plight. Include your name, age, occupation, and education. Tell her that you are desperate to find a soul mate for life. Tell her that you would like to get to know her better, and that this is the first time that you have ever done anything like this. Tell her that you will introduce yourself to her by saying the words "lonely heart". Just in case she is paranoid and afraid of you, give her your home phone number and where you work, so she does not think you are some type of weirdo stalker. I have given this procedure to several of my friends, and two are now married using this exact procedure. This really works. I believe that it is an elegant style to meet someone decent. Of course, you may have to do this ten times to meet someone who is as fed up with the singles scene as you. Remember guys, it is much harder for the women, because you have the right to pick and choose, and they don't. I realize that some are out asking men to dinner, but those type of girls are probably not the ones for you. The worst thing that can happen is that the girl you ask out can say no, and you have blown 20 or 30 dollars on the flowers, which certainly at least flattered her and made her happy. It is always worth something to make someone happy. It sure beats that ugly bar room scene where you down three kamikazies and then ask a someone "...wanna dance?", only to be told "NO". In that situation, you only have a minute or two in a loud, smoke filled environment, to tell her that you have an artistic soul, and that your intentions are honorable. If you fear rejection, unless you overcome this irrational fear, you're shit out of luck. You must get out there and sell yourself. And you only have about two minutes to do it. Hitting the bars and the clubs is always easier, with alcohol to bolster your courage. Don't believe all that crap about not being able to meet a decent girl at a bar, that's complete bullshit. Some of the winners of my life were met that way. You could always take a night course at a local college, "Abnormal Psychology". It will fit you into a room of likely prospects. Avoid AA meetings or other rehab groups. To prevent the sensitive, innocuous look, walk around with a book of poetry. Gals- I don't know if America is ready for you to start doing this. I have had girls send me flowers. It is a big time attention getter. I would think that you will certainly get a man's attention with this procedure. You might even want to put a picture along with the card that you send, including with your phone number. Remember, everybody on this earth is lonely for a friend and a soul mate. Unfortunately, we all need a skin bag of protoplasm to care about us. If there are any lonely souls out there who would like to talk to me, of course at no charge, I will try and custom plan a campaign for you. I have great experience at this, not only for myself, but for my son who is a very good-looking, but shy, young man. I have gotten great vicarious pleasure helping him acquainting him with the opposite sex, and it seems to work out well. It involves sacrificing a little bit of ego, and that sure beats choking the chicken. For even better results, take a course in creative arts or writing. Remember, this is a lonely planet. Someone is out there for you, don't let your lonliness eat you alive. If you would like to speak with me on the phone, I will be very candid with you. If you are an out and out loser with no hope of finding a mate, I'll tell you. However, don't despair - everyone has an ugly sister!