What It's Like Being Seventy...
What It's Like Being Seventy...

Coming to grips with your mortality running out of highway...

It is presently about two weeks until I hit my 70th birthday.  I've always been very young at heart and vigorous of spirit, but now - all of the sudden - according to the actuaries, I'm truly running out of time.  That, my friends, is the shits.  I'm afraid to buy green bananas!

But, things might get better because this week I'm reading a book by Jimmy Carter on the virtues of old age.  I've been putting this off because I know that there is no virtue to old age.  As I said, it's the shits. 

The two most important cards in my wallet are my American Express card and my Medicare card.  If anybody out there can give me anything to be cheery about, please don't hesitate.  Call me collect!

One wonderful thing happened to me this week that did cheer me up:  On Good Morning, America, the guest was Mike Wallace, feisty as a baboon in heat.  I was shocked and elated to hear that he's going on 87!!  Now that's serious old age.  But, I guess I'll get resigned to it.... won't I?

Well, I can't finish this dissertation because I don't want to miss the early bird dinner!  Shalom!

-- The Chairman